Claire's Blog...Stuff that came into me hed.
Claire is feeling 
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About me: I'm 23 years old, female, and I live in Sydney (yes, in Australia.)
You can see the rest of my page here, but there's not much at the moment.
Write to me at unwittyname@hotmail.com
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Wednesday, January 22, 2003
Coming Out
There is much that you may not have suspected about me. I have many secrets. One of the main ones is that I am going back to uni this year to study Counselling. I don't know why this became a secret. To start with, I didn't tell anyone at work because I didn't want to look like a fuel if I didn't get in. I also didn't want to completely extinguish all hopes of advancement only to be rejected. Then, I didn't tell anyone because I hadn't decided whether I wanted to go or not. Yesterday, I told my supervisor, and she told the boss. Now, I am still not telling anybody, because I am waiting to find out whether I can work part time while I study (the alternative being quitting.)
Going back to uni is a big decision. The last 2 years of my undergraduate study was not particularly pleasant, or at least, not in my memories. I am plagued by some combination of self-doubt, low self-esteem, perfectionism, procrastination and anxiety. It's a strong brew. Apart from this, I have enjoyed earning a full-time wage and the stability that comes with permanent work. However, I know that if I don't go back now I never will, and if I don't go I will always be wondering what if, thinking that I've thrown my previous 4 years of study down the toilet.
And no, I'm not gay.
9:04 PM
Wednesday, January 08, 2003
Today, it was so windy that I thought I was going to die. I'm not kidding; I was crossing a road and the wind picked me up and moved me sideways. I was genuinely afraid that I was going to be thrown into the path of an oncoming vehicle. One hand held the arm of my glasses, which were threatening to fly off, and the other held a calico bag which billowed in the wind like a round sail. And this was in the middle of the city, where there were numerous tall buildings to shelter me. I was very glad to reach the bus-stop and hide in front of a shop where the wind couldn't get me. I'm glad we don't have twisters in Australia.
In other news, I've recently arrived back from a holiday jaunt to Melbourne and Brisbane, and my trusty purple bag is now better traveled than I am. While in Melbourne, we ate cake in St Kilda, had a bed picnic on New Year's Eve, attempted and finally succeeded in seeing The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, traveled on trams (duh), went to the top of the Rialto tower (observation deck higher than Centrepoint in Sydney), investigated St. Patricks Cathedral, and ate a lot. We saw some pretty bits of Brisbane and the Gold Coast with bf's father, and his father's partner, and it was all very nice. But then, my bag vanished on the flight home. We had the awful experience of standing by the baggage carousel long after the other two bags had arrived, until the conveyor belt carrying the bags stopped moving. I'll spare you the gory details, and the anguish that I felt at the prospect of losing my several nicest outfits by saying that it did indeed reappear yesterday. (My mum grew tired of me moaning about my bag being gone and said "Yes, well just imagine what it would be like if your house burnt down". This happened to a friend of hers recently.) When I got my precious bag back, it had a label on it from Auckland International Airport. So now, my bag is an international traveler. Someone from work suggested that whenever I wear an item that was in the errant bag, I should say: "This shirt looked fantastic in Auckland", not including the fact that the only part of Auckland it saw was the inside of the airport, from the inside of the bag.
The marriage bug seems to be spreading at work. One got married on New Year's Day, another is getting married in March, three others have just gotten engaged (two of them to eachother). The current comment has been "Must be something in the water. So, when are you going to get married?" To this, I believe the correct answer is: "NEVER! Bwa ha ha ha ha!" This is not to say that I have a beef against marriage, but I have no intention of jumping off that particular bridge just because everyone else is. I might wait until I find a suitable bungee cord.
11:04 PM
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